A Heart Like His

 

“To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David, the servant of the LORD, who addressed the words of this song to the LORD on the day when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies, and from the hand of Saul. He said:

I love you, Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I called to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I have been saved from my enemies.” Psalm 18:1

This morning as I was looking for a scripture in my Bible, I saw this passage highlighted with the date November 8, 2013 written next to it. I sat for several minutes and tried to remember what was going on in my life during that time. I believe our Bible study group was examining David who wrote this song and we were learning about the books of Samuel. I was dating Ashley. I was trying desperately to get super healthy; working out, running, zero alcohol, raw foods, planks, etc. I was sort of scratching and clawing my way towards God and towards a better life. I was standing on the edge just about to take a full leap towards Him but I was in need of that final push to really just turn it all over, to really dive in head first and trust that God’s got this, no one else. I remember thinking about David during those days. Our study, “Seeking a Heart Like His”, talked all about David and his wild sinful ways and his dramatic journey. I remember thinking how in the heck did this guy get to be King? THIS King didn’t seem so great to me. What a sinner! Knockin’ up Bathsheba and killin’ Uriah and sportin’ at least 8 wives and who picked this guy to slay Goliath? He was sort of a wreck. Just sayin’.

 

Let’s rewind long before November 8, 2013...I was done. Doneskis with relationships. Completely and utterly DONE and committed to being Calvert plus one and that one being Betty B for the rest of my live long life. That door was closed and I absolutely in no way, shape or form wanted to ever get married again and I sure wasn’t EVER, and I mean EVER, having more children. And then, (we all know how this goes down) and then I just kept sort of begging God to take over. I kept reminding myself over and over, HE is in control. I figured out HE is my stronghold and I just kept seeking refuge in Him and asking Him GOD, what is your plan for me? GOD what do you want me to do? GOD I am yours. YOU are in charge God. And then, I saw the most random long lost number on my caller ID from someone I had dated in like 1998…. News flash I am a huge introvert and I never answer the phone, ever. But for whatever reason, I answered that random day and when I saw him in the parking lot at a local restaurant for the first time in I don’t know how long, every single thing I had been telling God? Well, it was time to mean it. It was time to take that leap and I sure got that nudge I needed and I fell right off that ledge…..I fell and I flew.

 

November 8, 2013…..studying David, loving my guy, having ZERO clue what was in store for us, he needing a final push as well. One of the many things about Ashley was that he had a heart like mine. He had a heart that was ready to move from its past and make some changes and give some things up and BE MORE. We had hearts like David, totally knotted up in sin with a laundry list of poor choices and yet, still somewhere in those hearts a yearning to do good. We had been burned and burned others and our hearts were ready to do it right. Both of us scratching and clawing and searching for God’s plan for us together. Both ready to leap and both needing a Rock to bang our silly heads against.

 

On November 8 2013, I just wasn’t quite there yet. I just wasn’t 100% on board. I needed a shove…and boy did I ever get one.  

 

On November 8, 2014 my father walked me down a hay covered aisle in my backyard. It was the most beautiful fall day I have ever witnessed and the light through the trees made everything warm and glowy. Our daughters waited for me with him and our family sat quietly ready to cover us with bird seed love. I wore moccasins I hand beaded myself and he a brown suit and simple tie. On November 8 2014, one year after highlighting and dating David’s song to the Lord, I married my absolute best half. I married someone who every single day makes me want to be a better person. Who every single day makes me take a long hard look in the mirror and say, girl you are so blessed. You better live it right because YOU ARE BLESSED INDEED. I married someone who made me want to get my poop in a group for cryin' out loud, someone who does all of the hard things. As I type this our son sits next to me with messy morning hair smelling like oatmeal and keeps asking where his daddy is. "Ashley where awwwwwwwwwwww yoooooooooooou?" On November 8 2014, all of those things I had been telling God came true. We stepped up. We made changes. We left things and never went back. It was time to right some wrongs. It was time to live out HIS plan for us.

 

"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;let them ever sing for joy,and spread your protection over them,that those who love your name may exult in you.For you bless the righteous, O Lord;you cover him with favor as with a shield." Psalm 5:11

 Like David, Ashley and I started out in sin, lots of it, and we still sin errrrrrrrrrrrrrry day but like David we were both looking for something bigger to take a stronghold in our lives. We wanted to be better than OK and even better than good. We wanted to be great. We wanted a second chance. We wanted to slay some giants.

On November 8, 2014 exactly one year from noting David’s song I, with babies’ breath in my hair, walked down the aisle to the best thing that ever happened to me. The most selfless, hard-working, quiet spirited, loyal man I have ever known. I walked down that aisle because that is the God we serve. Because our God forgives, renews, fulfills, makes whole, completes, and covers His people. Because our God is a God of one more time. Because God knew we both needed each other and that we would honor Him. He knew two can defend themselves but THREE ARE NOT EASILY BROKEN.

 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:12

Without a doubt, 1000% David would have never received his royal position, he would have never found that smooth stone that knocked that ugly old guy out, he would have never written the songs of rejoicing that he did and he would have never been given that chance to do things right without the Grace of God. Yall I was so lost. I was so ALONE. I was so putting on a good front but inside I was so wretched and empty. You have an empty place inside of you that cannot be filled up with anything but the HOLY SPIRIT. No man, no car, no job, no house, no vacation, no glass of wine, no trip to Rome, no nothing can fill that place up but God Himself. Once David figured this out, once I figured this out….that the emptiness inside of you is there for a reason, an emptiness meant to be filled with JESUS…..my life began to transform. Life is still hard. You are not called to live an easy life, you are called to live a purposeful life. It is still hard sometimes and I still have loads of sin but if you will find a smooth stone, draw back your sling and let Him fill you up, you will conquer.

 

God has a plan for you. God has a plan for you. God already knew that day when I noted David´s song that I would meet Ashley again, that I would walk down the aisle exactly one year later, that HAP would be born, that we would want more children, that we would grow old together, that we would be bound together by that third cord. He knew David would slay that big old mean giant and be the greatest king of all time other than the Son of David, Jesus. God knew David would screw up and he knew he would have to give him a second chance because He is a God of second chances. He knew the Great King David would need a day like


November 8th, 2014.